Just because they’re heroes doesn’t mean they’re all good.
Steve Rogers aka Captain America
Pros:
• Opens every door, pulls out every chair.
• Butt butt butt butt butt butt.
• Would never even dream of mansplaining you because Peggy Carter whooped that nonsense out of him long ago.
Cons:
• That said, probably still a little hung up on Peggy Carter.
• Never gets any of your funny movie references.
• Actually, also probably hung up on Bucky Barnes. You really can't compete with that.
Disney / Via disney.wikia.com
Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow
Pros:
• Never makes you feel stupid despite being 100,000✕ smarter than you.
• Knows the coolest bars and speakeasies to take you on dates.
• Who needs a security system when you sleep next to a living weapon?
Cons:
• You'll be like, "Natasha I love you, just let me in, baby," and she'll be like, "I don't talk about my past" and the aloofness will drive you nuts.
• If you break her heart, the goddamn Avengers will come after you.
• And you'd better hope they find you before she does.
Disney / Via blastr.com
Clint Barton aka Hawkeye
Pros:
• Great aim, if you know what I mean. (I'm not really sure what I mean?)
• Solid understanding that gendered clothing is nonsense and if he wants to wear a purple tunic top then by Jove, he'll wear a purple tunic top.
• Secretly wonderful singing voice. Like a songbird.
Cons:
• Will show up outside your two-story bedroom window all the time, like, "What? Clint, no, use the door."
• Short-term memory loss from that time he was mind-controlled by a god; sometimes forgets to buy the milk.
• Chip on his shoulder about being left off major merchandise. Natasha's over it, but he's legit pissed.
Disney / Via collider.com
Thor Odinson aka... Yeah, still Thor
Pros:
• Your whole life will feel like a Shakespeare play because he does the forsooth and thee stuff all the time.
• Can reach everything you keep on the highest shelf.
• Gives the warmest, safest-feeling hugs in all of Midgard.
Cons:
• Those hugs have also knocked the wind out of you more than once.
• Once you've been with a god you're spoiled for life, dickwise.
• Leaves his hammer on the toilet seat just to mess with you and thinks that shit's funny.
Disney / Via andpop.com
