Ryan Lochte’s 18 Fashion Rules

He calls his personal style “rockstar swagger.” He dreams of becoming a clothing designer . His idol is Lil' Wayne. And he's shaping up to be the face (and abs and pecs) of the U.S. Olympic team. Let's see what we can learn about fashion from this spectacular male specimen.

Embrace corny USA tees.

Embrace corny USA tees.

Obviously these tees aren't optional for Olympic athletes representing the U.S., but Lochte takes the corny factor one step further with the faded sort of graphic you'd expect to see worn either:

1) Ironically with the arm holes cut to gaping proportions over neon sports bras with cut-off jorts and studded converses. Or,
2) On People of Wal-Mart.

Lochte, seen here preparing for a relay race alongside Michael Phelps, manages to make the shirt not look like a red, white, and blue popsicle wrapper, which is a feat when you're wearing what look like biker shorts (i.e. the suburban mom's de facto amusement park outfit).

Image by Michael Sohn / AP

Find unique ways to incorporate American flags into your look.

Find unique ways to incorporate American flags into your look.

Lochte wore this semi-controversial diamond flag grill for his gold medal ceremony the other day. An official told him he wouldn't get his medal — the U.S.'s first gold in these Games — if he wore it, so he put it on after they gave him the medal, that sassy thing. Judging by some of Lochte's poolside fashion statements, depriving him completely of bedazzlement would be like trying to iron the wrinkles out of an elephant's skin. Some creatures just have a look, you know?

Image by FABRICE COFFRINI / Getty Images

And really, what about this gray jacket and black pants uniform sparkles even close to the way the diamond dentures do? Nothing about it, that's what.

Image by MARTIN BUREAU / Getty Images

Add bracelets.

Add bracelets.

Lochte appears to enjoy the men's styles by jewelry brand Niyala, according to Coolspotters. Our aquatic cherub here does not swim in these things, but wears different styles, sometimes stacked. It looks like the kind of thing any average Lochte wannabe/fan could pick up at their local mall kiosk BUT...

Image by Daniel Ochoa De Olza / AP

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