You can't count on much in this world, but you can count on these things. Seriously. We have a time machine, so we're positive they're going to happen.
Anthony Davis' unibrow will become sentient and block a shot. Then it will kill itself and the world will be shocked to find out that Anthony Davis is actually attractive.
We will discover that the unibrow is the male equivalent to a ponytail and glasses.
(Reuters / LUCY NICHOLSON)
Every Thomas Robinson dunk will be accompanied by an increasingly badass screams until one shatters the glass.
And they will all be added to movie sound effect libraries.
(Reuters / POOL)
Bill Self will repeatedly pretend to have never met John Calipari, giving his Jayhawks a tactical advantage as Coach Cal's need for attention eats away at him.
What I'm saying is Bill Self will neg Calipari. It'll be grand.
(AP / AP Photos)
The Kansas Jayhawk will attempt to kill Bill Self, only to have Bill Self's saintly toupee kick some Jayhawk ass.
I know he's the Kansas mascot, but just look at the way he's looking at Bill. He has hate in his eyes, and murder in his heart. Something dark is under that head, and I just hope Bill Self is ready.
(Getty Images / Chris Graythen)
