Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No.
Summer
Summer is overconfident. Summer is arrogant. Summer thinks it just naturally gets to be the best season, like it doesn't even have to try, because it's warm and Shakespeare once used it in a sonnet. Well, you know what, Summer? It's time someone told you that you are a terrible season:
• Summer is far too hot, your skin literally starts cracking and bubbling and then falling off.
• Summer makes things smell terrible, including but not limited to a) people and b) cities.
• Summer means men who should not take their shirts off taking their shirts off.
• Summer also means men wearing flip-flops.
• Summer means hayfever, which is horrible and leaves you wanting to tear your own face off because plants are literally having sex in it.
• In conclusion: Summer is a twat.
If Summer were a person, it would be that too-loud person who shows up and is all "HEY GUYS WE'RE GOING TO PARTY" and you're all "you know, I'm not really in the mood" and Summer would be all "NO I'M GOING TO FORCE YOU TO HAVE FUN" and you would be like "I just want a lie down" and then Summer would spill beer on you and laugh in your face.
Winter
Winter actually has many things to recommend it: Cosy fires! Mulled wine! The soft crunch of snow underfoot! Traditional festivals of light and rebirth across many of the world's cultures! The hearty feeling of getting into a warm glow of a pub and the companionship of good friends after yomping head-down across the moors in a blizzard! PRESENTS! (It's mostly about the presents tbh.)
But on the downside it's really, REALLY cold. Also it goes on for bloody ages, way more than any single season deserves. Several years, in some cases. We are not Westeros and we should not have to tolerate this. Winter had a good thing going, but in the end it just got greedy.
