11 Festival Looks That Need To Retire In 2012

As you pack your Coachella weekender bag, please remember that you don't have to dress like a nu-rave hippie freak. (Sidenote: Does anyone actually enjoy watching bands sober in broad daylight?)

A ragtag caravan of gypsy courtesans.

Via: thelooksforless.com

As Coachella draws near, my inbox becomes crammed with useless festival style suggestions from retailers. Of course, they're begging me to buy the usual hippie-dippy, fringey-dingy skimpwear, hoping to capitalize on my desire to get as "free-spirited" as possible. Thanks, but no thanks. A girl really only needs one sheer midriff beaded-fringe crop top to get by — the kind that handily doubles as part of a slutty Halloween costume in the fall.

Source: cosmopolitan.co.uk

For some reason, "festival style" has stagnated, bypassing the fickle temperament of the fashion zeitgeist. You'd assume that boho died years ago along with the Sienna Miller era of 2005-2006. Yet it thrives at summer music festivals, where homogenous hordes of youth and bare skin come together in a dystopian summer-of-love nightmare that looks nothing like 1969. But no matter what type of festival goer you are, there's no reason to re-purchase that crocheted vest, even if your old one's still caked with mud from last year.

Sorry, do I sound like I hate music festivals? Maybe I'm just the type to stay in a hotel rather than live in a teepee, and find more enjoyment in eating a giant spiral french fry on a stick than taking ecstasy before the Deadmau5 set. (Yes, ironically while festival style devolves, festival cuisine is really pushing boundaries.)

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