In an article titled “10 Unexpected Ways That Only You Can Save Your Marriage,” the former queen of daytime offered up some, er, interesting tactics: creating an imaginary British friend.
"Just make an imaginary frrrrrriiiiiiii-eeeeeeennnnnnd!"
Invent an imaginary British houseguest. All of us have much more control over our behavior than we like to think. For instance, if you had a very proper, prestigious British guest at your home, sleeping in the bedroom adjacent to yours, you'd act differently during arguments. You'd behave more kindly and politely to your spouse when, say, he sold your mother's hideous-but-beloved vase during a garage sale—if only because you didn't want to feel deeply ashamed. So the next time you consider screaming, imagine poor Rupert lying in the guest room, overhearing your every word.
Unfortunately for me, reading Oprah's advice conjured up images of Mrs. Featherbottom from "Arrested Development." But since David Cross in drag makes me smile, I guess it achieves the same end result. One question: does she practice this with