The asking price for the two-ply Cottonelle masterpiece is a mere $999.95, plus free shipping. So you better hurry. There's less than a day left to nab this top-notch bathroom literature before the auction expires. (Truth: zero bids so far.)
"My friend and I once joked that toilet paper should have instructions printed on them for certain people," merchant heppcat writes. "One day, the conversation grew from there and turned into a wager that i couldn't (or wouldn't) be able to type out a novel on toilet paper ... All of the rolls [have] been handled very gingerly and infrequently. One or two rolls have a tear at the beginning. This is where i was trying to pull the paper through the typewriter.
"I've kept this mod oddity in a box in a cool, dry place for the last 10 years ... I will ship these securely in a plastic storage bin with plenty of padding so it won't be damaged during shipping."